


reverberations

by 9luciddreams (1degenerates)



Category: Boardwalk Empire
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Originally Posted Elsewhere, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1degenerates/pseuds/9luciddreams
Summary: Richard has a lot of thoughts.
Relationships: Gillian Darmody/Richard Harrow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	reverberations

**Author's Note:**

> This idea swam around in my head ever since I saw a picture of them together. You know, the one with Richard sitting pretty in the chair and Gillian standing over him, ruling the Darmody beach house like the queen she is. I like both of the characters, but I don’t know if I quite ship them, really. Both Richard and Gillian have family issues and both desperately want to have a happy little family and that was something I tried to add to their dynamic. Even though this story itself focuses more on Richard and what I hope are some of his thoughts and possible developments for his character next season.
> 
> The thing is, I could see it going both ways. I could actually see Winter pairing them up next season in a way similar to what I’ve considered here. Then again, it’d probably be more fucked up and ten times better… But I can also see them taking it in a different direction. Overall, I just wonder what they’ll do with Richard next season. He’s pretty much lost all the emotional ties he had in Atlantic City. It would seem all he really has for support now is Gillian.

Richard was never an overly talkative person. He was never loud.

But he knows that he said more when he was younger. He spoke in that way that children do – words thrown together, eager to be turned into something resembling a coherent thought in which other children build friendships on and adults don’t take the time to piece together and try to understand what is being said.

Then again, that was also before. It seems to have been made a fact that boys go to war and as a result become men. Richard isn’t sure that’s the exact aging process he experienced while he was crouched down under an open window, broken glass scattered around him, waiting out his intended target and discovering he was quite the perfect shot. The dull thump of a body hitting the floorboards telling him all he needed to know.

Since his return it seemed he would say less and less – but circumstance had a way of finding people Richard felt he could speak his thoughts more freely than he ever thought possible.

An understanding look between two war-wounded men spoke volumes. An artist’s eye that sees one-sided love as something that’s not enough to silence the screams because you can’t be what you once were, especially when the people that claim to love you keep seeing you in that way.

***

Richard is still somewhat surprised (and definitely unnerved) at the sharp grunts and half-shouted appreciation his throat manages to gargle up whenever Gillian has her mouth on him.

He's found he enjoys it more when she goes down on him because when she deigns to have sex with him, her eyes are always closed.

Richard wonders who she imagines she is fucking during those not so special occasions. Sometimes he swears he’s losing his mind in a similar way that he lost his humanity when half of his face got blown far from recognition. He swears he’s losing it because there’s no way that Gillian would whisper her son’s name when she shudders underneath him.

If there’s one person in this caricature of a family that Richard is thankful for, again because of circumstance, would be Jimmy’s son.

When the little boy comes to the breakfast table with a soft “Meema, did you make pancakes?” and a lazy smile for Richard, he worries less about the closeted psychosis that was more than likely driving the Darmody clan and hopes that his presence has some sort of healthy influence on Tommy’s character.

Some nights, Richard dreams of a face that isn’t Odette’s. It’s starting to look like Gillian’s, but has Angela’s kind eyes. That usually happens when Richard has found a new picture to add to his scrapbook, when someone actually looks at him without fear (a rare occurrence) during his weekly walks outside, when Tommy pleads with him to read a bedtime story. (He remembers Margaret Schroeder’s children – the boy’s laughter and the girl’s gradual smile, acceptance for what he looks like even if they don’t understand it fully.)

Other nights, Richard’s thoughts of revenge on Jimmy’s murder roar over any silly dream of a loving family that he clings to so desperately. A thunderous howl that makes Gillian squeeze her pillow over her ears in order to drown out the sound and try to get some sleep.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> https://9luciddreams.livejournal.com/1744.html


End file.
